How to find an accommodative partner ?

Time immemorial, we have been hearing marriages which are love before or after are alive if both the partners are accommodative .

Krishna accommodated Satyabhama with love,
Lord Shiva bowed down to Parvati ,
Lord Muruga went back of Valli,
Saraswati agreed to stay with Brahma,
Kasturba did everything told by Babuji,
Venu listens to Jaya
and
vice versa.

Why do we need to accommodate ?
Marriage progresses in steps.
Every individual steps into marriage with certain goals, that might get fulfilled or nullified.

One might become more dominant . Trying to fulfill all wants, comforts and luxuries are not possible but to come to an agreement is possible , and that is what is accommodating .

Respecting each other’s ideas, thoughts, principles, works, and more so standing next to each other in support during  taxing and tiring times is what is accommodating .

More important what may come not criticising or putting down each other , over praising each other,
Shouting at each other ,
Getting angry for every thing,
Keeping mum and no reactions ,
Does not accommodate in an accommodating partner.

We might not find one before marriage , even in love marriages as partners are deceptive . But we can mould them with our wisdom and care.

Today the answer by every social activist is divorce .
When we can not accommodate with one person, who partnered with us  to form  our family, then what help we can render to this society .

It is easy to separate but it is difficult to accommodate is the new mantra of the partners.
Before we decide, we need to answer few questions to our self.
We are human beings. As we grow, we will be altering our wishes, goals, positions, ideas, wants, and also styles but we can not alter parents and siblings, then how can we think of altering our partners , excepting altering their thoughts and actions.

Today we need modernisation of friendship in marriage.

We need active companionate with individualism in a democratic value family system .
It decreases authority of kin.
Encourages individual choices .
Equality of partners improves empathy and friendship .
Conjugal isolation improves communication and companionship.

Free Courtship and romance blooms individualism .

Domesticity - involves emotional relationship among the family members along with individualism .
Self expression improves family   Members confidence and protection along with trust .

Interdependence, solidarity,familiarity, obligation and authority ,may not always give freedom , affection and psychological intimacy among the family members.

The rise or decline of romantic friendship depends on individual psyche . Some times couple over work on it initially and lose the track of its importance as they proceed. Especially by the time they reach middle age and completely become strangers as they age. This is a dangerous situation and they stop communications too. In fact couple those who fight initially , understand its importance and start second lease of life , if they can show patience and stop finding faults .

Accommodate each other
Accept as they are
Counsel each other
Care for each other
Out speak wishes
Manage household work
Open new vistas
Dedicate time for each other
Adjust to situations
Tolerate emotions of each other
Enjoy the life .

Source: Whatsapp Forward

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